I’ve been confronted several times as of recent on why I want to start my own restaurant.  In a time when the economy is in recession and nothing is certain, why pick being an entrepreneur over something more stable.  I would be on much “firmer” ground if I found a job in some corporate chain somewhere.  Look at what your guaranteed salary would be, Mark.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, take your stable salary and cram it up your bunghole.

I could be sitting in front of my television right now watching an hour of Scrubs.  Scrubs makes me happy.  For the hour that it’s on, I laugh, I listen to Zach Braff talk about “the issues” and I feel for a brief moment that everything is okay.  But it isn’t, everything outside the fantasy world of Scrubs is just the same as it was when I sat down.  The only difference is I am one hour fatter from being a couch potato.

So instead, I’m in my office typing out my fears.  I’m trying to look the monster dead in the eye.

I’m afraid that I don’t have enough experience to get a restaurant up and running.

I’m afraid I won’t be able to sufficiently fund a restaurant.

I’m afraid I won’t be able to motivate my employees towards a common goal, or even worse, not be respected by my employees.

I’m afraid of the long hours of work ahead of me.

I’m afraid of my potential customers, will they want to come back?

I’m afraid that I won’t be able to support myself or a family with my income.

I am scared of being bought out.

I’m afraid of failure.

I’m so afraid of this business plan because I want every part of it to be perfect.

I’m scared that in my pursuit for my dream I might pass up something or someone even better than my dream.

The list goes on and on.  I could list my fears in my personal life and it would be just as detailed and perhaps even longer.  So, you ask, why would I keep striving toward something that I’m so scared of.  Maybe I should put things in perspective for you.

God created the earth.  He has the power to topple mountains, smite entire armies,  turn rivers to blood, overthrow entire civilizations (America is not immune), cause plagues of locusts, and raise kings only to have them fall.  You want to know the scary part?  He actually does ALL of these things.  He allows plagues, disease, earthquakes, and economic recessions to happen.  But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to be closer to Him.  God is one scary omnipotent being, but I still strive to be with Him. 

So yes, I’m scared of opening my own place.  Pursuing it frightens the hell out of me sometimes.  But if fear is the one thing holding me back from my dream then I’m selling my self dramatically short.  Maybe this restaurant will fail in one way or another.  I can almost guarantee that it will in some way or another.  I’m not infallible. 

I rest confident in the fact that everyone screws up.  Everyone fails.  Everyone falls short of perfection.  I am not immune to the human condition any more than Mother Theresa or Flava Flave.

I am scared and that is why I push forward. Nothing truly worth pursuing is easy.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

- Ambrose Redmoon